Episode Transcript
[00:00:03] Speaker A: Getting back to our origin of we the People, tackling current issues, both political and legal, with common sense.
As we the People, we must bring.
[00:00:14] Speaker B: Common sense back to make our lives better.
[00:00:17] Speaker A: Only on NOW Media tv.
[00:00:24] Speaker B: Welcome to we the People. I'm your host, Alina Gonzalez Dacre. And today we're exploring one of the most important and emotional parts of our justice system, family law and child welfare. For too many parents and caregivers, navigating this system feels impossible.
The laws seem complex, the language feels foreign, and the process overwhelming. Families who are already struggling often feel left behind by the very systems meant to protect them.
My guest today, Rebecca Kosher, knows this reality well. She's an attorney and the CEO of Oklahoma Lawyers for Families and Children, a nonprofit transforming how justice serves families through trauma informed advocacy. Her team works to protect children, support caregivers, and restore dignity in legal proceedings. Rebecca, welcome to we the People.
I'm thrilled to talk to you about all of this. As we were off stage is fascinating, what you do and provide. So thank you for being a guest.
[00:01:31] Speaker A: Thank you, Alina, for that wonderful introduction and for having me here today.
It's so fundamental that we look at the system and look at it really, really closely.
It is a big part of our communities and how our families interact well.
[00:01:50] Speaker B: And I know being the attorney, it is like there are some aspects in going from the different areas, like where you have the advoc part, the litigant part, but then mix in that you have a family in need and potentially having a trauma or a crisis and making sure that those services are there.
But the most importantly, it's protecting and the best interest of the child.
And sometimes, and I will say this, sometimes as an attorney, you get so lost in the, you know, the litigation and getting in the adversarial aspect of it.
Tell me how you and your nonprofit help take the adversary part out of it and just to ensure that this family is getting what they most need.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: Well, a big part of that is understanding that each of us have a role in the system. And for our judicial system to work correctly and efficiently, we all have to kind of stay in our lane. And we all have to make sure everybody stays in theirs and takes care of their role.
So if you're representing a child in this system, it's your job to make sure you follow your rights, your obligations to that child client and understand that if the parent is making and the parent's attorney is making a different argument, that it's because they're doing that based on their role. And Teaching your clients that if child welfare is saying something completely different, that they're doing it based on their role. So, so I think that we can move a lot of the adversary out of it if we really, truly fundamentally understand each of our roles in the system, how they all interrelate and how we can help families move forward together.
If we work together to resolve those issues that they have, we have a family that's here in the system, we have an opportunity to really change their lives.
And it's really incumbent upon us to take that opportunity and do it.
[00:03:59] Speaker B: So when taking these families, what are some of the most common ways that they may feel powerless when facing child wear, welfare and, or family law issues? And I mean there's obviously a myriad of, you sometimes have criminal delinquency aspects of this. So how can you and your advocacy help these, what, you know, identify those, those most common ways of powerlessness and what do you do to provide them the guidance so they feel that they're empowered?
[00:04:33] Speaker A: So in order to understand why families feel so powerless in especially child welfare and family law cases, we really have to understand that it's because the foundation of their family rights isn't very clear to them.
Much of that feelings comes from a misunderstanding of what family rights actually are.
And I know that recently I've seen and heard a lot about parents rights and their rights to raise and rear their children in the way they see fit. It's really one of the oldest and most protected liberties here in America. But that right, as powerful as it truly is, largely assumes the existence of that intact family unit. It assumes that we have this harmony of purpose where this child's well being and the parent's judgment are there together in the same direction at the center of this, this universe that we have. And so OLAFC has started explaining this family rights universe. We have this intact family unit and it's like the sun. It's a radiant core of shared authority and trust. It's balanced and everything that moves within it moves in natural rhythm. So we have the rights of parents and we have the rights of children and they're woven together and it's really impossible to tell where one begins and one ends.
In this state we have this judgment flow where, you know, we don't need to measure where, whose rights fuel which decision is being made. Everything's going towards the same point and it's all going towards that best interest.
But when we no longer have a family that's intact, or if the family has never been intact, that energy is naturally going to divide and we're going to have mother's rights and father's rights and child's rights.
And those rights are like planets in this orbital ring. They're still drawn towards that family center, but they're now distinct in scope and shape. And when you have divorce and paternity or questions of parental fitness, the courts are now going to have to identify and divide rights that once felt really whole.
And so when we have families in the system saying that they feel ignored and powerless, what they're really describing is this shock and losing clarity about their own rights.
They're realizing that what was once really instinctive and intuitive to them, or so they thought, is now controlled by someone else. Someone else is telling them what their rights to their child are instead of them figuring that out in their own symbiotic balance.
[00:07:12] Speaker B: Well, and I love the analogy with the universe because it really does allows one person or anyone to visualize. Okay, now we're seeing a fracturing, because it almost is a fracturing when you're dealing with this and then having multiple chords or, you know, well, it's courts, you know, you have multiple course, sometimes multiple jurisdictions or venues in this, which can, I would say, amplify maybe that powerlessness or even the fears that these families have in dealing with such a delicate issue, which. This is one of the most delicate issues that the courts deal with.
So what role does a nonprofit or legal advocacy group like OLFC play in helping families navigate this.
This myriad of a universe of process?
[00:08:11] Speaker A: Well, we exist because no one should have to navigate this all alone. Right? It's our role to try to restore dignity, to give gravity to a moment that feels like free falling to many families. And so we work to do that through advocacy and education and connection.
Advocacy with these families means standing beside them in court.
Education means explaining the process in very plain language so parents know what's happening and why, and children as well.
Connection means linking those families to supports, housing, employment and stability all shape outcomes. And when there are questions of parental fitness or third parties and they become involved in the system, many parents truly believe they've been doing the best that they can. And most don't realize how the traumas they've experienced, the stress or toxic relationship patterns that they've been in, have shaped what feels normal to them.
Often their adult lives and parenting are already far better than the homes they grow up in. But the system measures them against standards that they weren't taught and they've never been given the support to meet.
So olafc works to bridge that gap.
We help systems see families through compassion.
We help families approach the system without fear. And we believe that accountability and empathy can coexist.
Advocacy should be built on understanding and not shame.
[00:09:46] Speaker B: And that is so important.
It is that empowerment, it is the ability to have that dignity or maintaining the dignity as you're undergoing through this.
So when a family is facing these type of issues and processes, but yet they fear they may not have the resources to be able to obtain attorney, how would they go about qualifying for services such as your age?
[00:10:12] Speaker A: Your legal advocacy group OLAFC is unique here in Oklahoma. And we just received notice that our Oklahoma Bar foundation will be funding a pro bono and sliding scale model. So OLFC up until June 30th of this year was solely court appointed. So in order to get an attorney from OLFC you had to put qualify for court appointment. And that usually means that you make less than 125% of the poverty range.
But what happens when you make 130%? And so what this new program that we launched on July 1 is aimed to do is to provide pro bono and sliding scale fees and services to parents and caregivers when children are in or at risk of entering the child welfare system.
Those cases have to impact child custody, but virtually every case impacts child custody in some way, shape or form. And then we can assess the family, see if they meet any of our other funding criteria for true pro bono representation.
And if not, we are able to put them on a sliding scale model, give them payment plans. And our local and state bar foundations have been really instrumental in bringing awareness to the need of that pro bono service, affordable fees for families.
And so you know, court appointment and traditional legal aid models have their own own requirements and their own application process.
OLFC evaluates each case to make sure that aligns and that the family is going to align with our goals of reunification of families and bringing big change to those families lives.
So if you have the desire to make big changes and to reunify your family, OLFC believes that it is our community and our responsibility to make sure that you have access to the resources to be able to do it.
[00:12:22] Speaker B: And that is so important.
As a former director of two legal aids and also being a court appointed attorney in my career, it is so important that these resources and the help is there. Where we'll be right back. And up next, Rebecca is going to share what happens when families are caught off guard by emergency custody hearings and how parents can prepare for the unexpected.
Tune right back in.
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[00:13:29] Speaker A: Foreign.
[00:13:32] Speaker B: By Rebecca Kusher in this segment, we're addressing a devastating reality. Many parents face the sudden removal of a child or an emergency custody hearing. For many, it feels like trauma on top of trauma.
REBECCA an emergency legal action can leave families disoriented and scared.
I really want to focus on what those hearings actually look like and what rights families have and how the system can to bring fairness and transparency, especially to these urgent emergency cases.
[00:14:09] Speaker A: So emergency custody hearings are also called show cause hearings here in Oklahoma, and I think they are in some other jurisdictions as well.
And it's important to understand that for most parents, an emergency custody hearing feels like the ground has just disappeared beneath them. They happen really fast, sometimes within hours of a child being removed. And and the parent may not even really understand what's triggered this.
So these hearings are designed to protect children. They're emergency, they're held very quickly. And here in Oklahoma, the traditional rules of evidence don't apply during those hearings.
So things like hearsay statements, reports and unverified statements are all presented to the court. And so these decisions are often made based on perception rather than proof. And parents have really rarely had time to access or challenge information.
And, you know, while everything feels really, really rushed, the legal burden to keep the child in care is really, really low. And so the reality is that most cases the child's not going to go home at the emergency custody hearing. Parents aren't told that clearly enough. And the shock of figuring that out in real time really deepens the distrust in the system.
So they walk into a courtroom with little warming. They've been surrounded by very unfamiliar faces, lots of legal terms that are very foreign to them. They can be very scared and confused. They're often really, really ashamed of what's going on.
And they really care. They care about their families. And so they just don't understand what's happened and what's being expected of them. They don't recognize their traumas, their stresses, their relationship patterns.
They're really fighting for connection and trying to keep their families together.
So if we don't provide them explanation if we don't provide them emotional support.
The speed with which emergency custody hearings happen can really feel like punishment and it results in fear, it results in confusion and it makes parents feel like their voice doesn't matter in the system. And it sets really the wrong tone for moving forward in this type of case.
[00:16:33] Speaker B: And I can tell you, I remember, I mean, and this was, I've been doing, you know, practicing or in the legal industry, I would say three decades. But in the beginning, I remember we would have as a court appointed, we would all take turns at those what we called shelter hearings, right, the emergency or what you call show cause hearings.
But even then we're given a stack of emergency petitions and we may have five minutes to prepare and speak to a client.
So it really is, even if there's an attorney present, it's not necessarily the best scenario. So how can a parent prepare for show cause hearings even when they weren't. It's a blindside in a way that they weren't expecting this type of trouble.
[00:17:20] Speaker A: So some parents are hearing about the allegations the first time. They may be a parent who is the non offending parent. So the child was with another parent or the other parent. And you know, it was actions in that home that led to the child's removal. And so it's really, really important to stay calm. It's important to start gathering information about your family.
You need to figure out who's initiated the action, what concerns have been raised and what your next deadlines are. So even without an attorney, write everything down, names, dates, what the judge or caseworker says, documenting it really becomes your lifeline when fear and your memory might collide.
So you've got to show up. You've got to show up in person, in an effort. You need to bring anything that you have with you that reflects your care and consistency with that child. If you have access to school records, communications with teachers, counseling documentation, proof of employment, or your housing judges really notice when a parent's engaged and organized and especially when the circumstances are really hard and traumatic. You've also got to understand you're going to have to cooperate to some extent whether you believe this system is doing what's right or not. You really need to work with DHS and your caseworkers to identify safe kinship placements for your child, share medical information, medication, educational information about your child. And even if you've already given that information to somebody else in the system, do your best to repeat it calmly for whoever's asking. Don't assume that everyone has access to the same files or updates. Don't assume that the attorney has access to what you told the caseworker.
And it's also really, really important to understand that most people that you meet in the process, the judges, the caseworkers, the court staff, the attorneys, we're in this field because we want to help children and families.
So if you come from that point of understanding, even if you disagree or you're feeling frustrated, the lines of communication can stay open and productive. Anger and frustration can close those doors and empathy might get you a little further in the system.
It's really hard to not feel defensive. It's really hard not to blame others or argue with them while they're trying to gather information.
But the goal in the first few days is really to help your child stay connected and safe.
Let everybody get the details together. You need to seek guidance early. You need to ask about a court appointed attorney if nobody said anything to you about it or having an attorney available at show cause. We've come a long way here in Oklahoma, but our jurisdictions are very, very mixed on whether there is an attorney present for parents or children at emergency show cause hearings.
And so all of that stuff moves very quick. It's on incomplete and unverified information.
And just having realistic expectations about what the outcome of that hearing is going to look like is really key when families enter it. And it's very hard to do when you've, you've probably experienced some of the, the worst and hardest days of your life.
But you know, this system is designed to be in the best interest of children.
And really staying there is what parents really have to focus on.
[00:20:46] Speaker B: And it's so true. I mean many families and parents, particularly when their children are from them and they're receiving a notice to show up in court, they don't know what their legal rights are. And saying, okay, do I have a right to an attorney? How do I obtain it? Because you know, many times you have less than 12 hours, you know, from when the, you know, the children families investigator comes in to a hearing.
So how can organizations and individuals work to make these hearings less scary or more just for that parent who may be, you know, just totally overwhelmed and blindsided.
[00:21:33] Speaker A: We have to understand that the parent's uncertainty feeds their fear and that fear results in other outbursts and you know, reactions from the parent that maybe it's not how they usually are on their, their best day.
The process moves fast. We don't pause long enough to explain what parents still can do what rights they still have. Having that right to an attorney, having a right to attend every hearing, having a right to understand what court and DHS expect of you, rights to provide information about your family. And you really have a right to be treated with respect even while you're under investigation.
And our systems don't get it right all the time.
I think that this space nationally has a lot more awareness of what families are going through and how to better interact with them.
But for organizations like olafc, if you are in court appointed or public defender spaces, just recognizing that, you know how hard the situation is for this particular family, we become very desensitized to it. We know that, you know, a family who has come into the system because of, you know, an unclean house probably isn't going to have the same issues as one where there are allegations of serious physical or sexual violence against a child.
And so us understanding that this really is a big deal to the families and not just disregarding the way they feel is one of the best things that we as practitioners can do.
[00:23:12] Speaker B: And that is so true. It is the respect, the dignity, but also the, the to, to.
I don't know if empathize with the situation, but at least not gloss over, especially if you do it all the time. And yes, we, and I know I've been guilty of this. It's like we could, we do we get desensitized. Rebecca, for our viewers who want to learn more about your organization or find resources for families in crisis, where can they reach you?
[00:23:42] Speaker A: Well, the best way to reach us is getting to our website. That's www.olfc.
don't judge me too much. We're working on getting the website updated. We've had a lot going on. We've had and have been undergoing a complete rebranding from Oklahoma Lawyers for Children to Oklahoma Lawyers for Families and Children.
If somebody wants to contact the organization about being involved, if you're here in Oklahoma and you want to find out ways that you can get involved, impact by email is a wonderful way to reach us. If anyone wants to reach me directly, CEO, LFC.org will get you there. Even if I'm not the person you need to talk to, I'm always happy to, to route you around that. And then for families that are looking for representation referrals, olfc.org okay, well, coming.
[00:24:41] Speaker B: Up next, Rebecca discusses how children's voices often go unheard in family court, which is so true. And what we can do to make sure their perspectives truly matter. Tune right back in.
Welcome Back to We the People. I'm here with Rebecca Kusher, and this segment focuses on a powerful but often overlooked issue, Children's voices in the legal system.
Too often decisions are made about them without ever truly hearing from the children themselves.
Children are the heart of family law, yet their voices can get lost amid adult decisions.
This segment explores how trauma, informed advocacy, policy change, and communication can help elevate children's perspectives and ensure their best interests are authentically represented.
Rebecca why do children in the child welfare system sometimes feel like their wishes are just ignored?
[00:25:46] Speaker A: Well, I would say that children in the system feel invisible because everything around them has been, you know, truly designed for adults. We use adult language and adult timelines and adult decisions.
Most children in child welfare cases never speak directly to the judge who decides where they'll live or who will have custody of them.
Their experiences are filtered through several layers of adults, caseworkers, attorneys, foster parents, service providers. And everyone in that system cares really deeply. But the child's voice can really get lost in translation or what the child's trying to say may not really come to the surface fully.
So imagine being a child who's been moved around several times. You're surrounded by new adults and all of them are making choices for you and rarely ask what you think or what you want.
So you're confused, you're disoriented, and you're really very lonely. Children have already experienced trauma and instability and if no one's going to take the time to ask them how they're feeling or what they want, it reinforces the message that they don't have control over their lives.
And so children really have this devastating lack of sense of self, safety or identity.
Another challenge that we see in the system is the way legal representation is structured. So children are often represented in Oklahoma through public defenders or court appointed attorneys. And Oklahoma is unique in the way that they have their child representation.
But the attorneys that are working in the system, they really have a hard time with the lack of infrastructure and supervision and support, court lack of funding, high caseloads to actually even meet with their client.
So a child client has a right to meet with their attorney.
And what results is this really patchwork of, you know, legal representation where some children have just exceptional advocates who meet with them regularly and explain what's going on. Others might see their attorneys at hearings. And unfortunately, sometimes children won't see their attorneys at all throughout a proceedings.
And we leave way too much to chance in the system if a child doesn't feel like they're Being listened to, the inconsistency for the adults around them is going to feel like abandonment, and it's going to leave even more scars and more trauma to overcome later.
So we need to know how children communicate. Those who experience trauma may tell different adults what they think that adult wants to hear. They're very good at reading tone and body language, and they can understand authority long before they can trust words.
So a child might give an answer that's polite or that an adult wants to hear in one room, but give a completely different one somewhere else. And they're not trying to be deceptive, but they're adapting for safety.
So children's voices not being heard or heard accurately comes from a, you know, just a host of reasons. And we as practitioners in this space really have to understand the psychology behind what children are experiencing in the system. Understanding child development, trauma awareness, their communications, you know, communication types. And these are skills that really go far beyond courtroom procedure. And that law school certainly didn't teach me.
[00:29:14] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no.
[00:29:19] Speaker A: You know, if we are silent, we. We isolate them. They normally know better than anyone else what their families need. They're intelligent, they're observant, and most of them want. Want their families back together safely.
[00:29:33] Speaker B: Absolutely. And how can a legal advocate give children that voice in custody placement or. Or family law decisions?
[00:29:43] Speaker A: Well, family law cases, at least here in Oklahoma, are treated differently than cases where parental termination of rights is at stake. And so when you have cases like divorce and paternity, the child is not a formal party. Their interests are represented indirectly. And adults do what is known as a best interest assessment, usually have what other jurisdictions call a guardian ad litem in divorce and paternity custody actions.
And so in those cases, the child's feelings might be considered, but they're really not a legal driver of any decision making.
And here in Oklahoma, we can contrast that to our deprived or termination proceedings or private adoption proceedings, where that permanent severance of family rights is at stake. That dynamic in those child's rights completely change.
And in this space, we have to remember and understand that the child becomes a full legal participant. They have a right to be a party to the action. They have a right to counsel. They have a right to be heard. They have a right to file motions, call witnesses, and appeal their cases.
And so the child's attorney in Oklahoma is not just a passive observer, but it really is an active advocate. And you're charged with representing your child's expressed preference if your child's able to form one. And so understanding the differences in the role, understanding what your role is and understanding that you've got to meet with your child and build that trust. It is fundamental, it is ethically required at every level of representing children in this system. Even as a guardian ad litel, when you're determining best interest, if the child can form an intelligent preference, that's supposed to weigh really, really heavily in your decision making.
So here we work to restore that balance. We work to make sure that others understand what's going on. We meet with children regularly, we explain what's happening in language that they understand, and we bring up these hard and complex topics throughout multiple meetings and deepen their learning and understanding of what's going on. And we don't assume that even at 6, a child can't form an intelligent preference. They can.
And so it's knowing what to ask and how to ask and really focusing on what the child is saying and what the child is not saying, what their body language says and asking more than just surface level questions. So if we just ask the buzzword questions or ask very leading questions in our conversations with them, we're not going to truly get to the heart of what a child wants.
[00:32:42] Speaker B: And so, and I think that is phenomenal, by the way. It is.
We don't. Well, I haven't been in the dependency courts in some years.
I know that they are now allowing the children to be present during the hearings, which they never did. Like whether it was a judicial review, docketing or whatever. The children are now present and all those, which that was a big change.
And but with what you were doing in Oklahoma, where the children have a lawyer, I mean, that is, I mean that is a huge, I mean that's evolutionary. I mean, to allow that, you would think, well, why wouldn't a child have that advocacy?
What other in your opinion based on this, what other roles can the, does the community awareness or policy reform play in giving the children even stronger protections and rights within this lovely myriad of court system that we have enjoy?
[00:33:40] Speaker A: Well, we need to understand that to have a truly centric child, centric system that recognizes what a child's best interest is, that it isn't something that's decided for children, it's something that we shape with them. And so this first step is making sure that we are consistent.
Many states have looked at introducing legislation about children having attorneys and independent legal counsel, especially in these types of cases, like Oklahoma does.
And so every child, in my opinion, deserves that right to an attorney, one that meets with them regularly, one that can explain their rights in the process and do it in an age appropriate way. And you know, courts can adopt practices that center on the child's treatment perspectives. We have rules and statutes about doing in chamber meetings with children and testifying that away, allowing children to have written statements submitted to the court and asking about their preferences and making sure those become part of the court record, depending on the child's age and, you know, their comfort level. So the goal isn't really here to make children choose sides, but it's to make sure that the decisions are really informed by what their lived reality looks like. We in this system need a lot more trauma informed training to recognize when behavior reflects fear and not defiance.
We need to know that silence may signal an exhaustion rather than disengagement, understanding some of the cues and finding accurate findings about those humane outcomes. So systems need better feedback loops. We need mechanisms to review caseloads, measure how often children meet with their attorneys, evaluate whether recommendations reflect the child's output, and some of this oversight might help keep the whole process from drifting off course.
So I think when children are treated truly as participants in a child centric court, rather than just subjects, decisions start becoming lawful and lasting.
Children feel engaged and empowered by the system. And instead of just compliance and healing, we become procedure and process.
And you know, children, children are incredibly in tune with what's going on with their families, making the space safe and comfortable for them.
Many courts have some wonderful calming rooms where if children are in emotionally charged hearings, they have a space that's outside of, you know, their abuser or other adults in the system where they can step away.
This summer I got to visit in New Orleans through the national conference of juvenile and family Court Judges.
And they've done some truly incredible things with the way they engage families in courts. And their system has really centered families at the heart of it and what's at the heart of a family but a child.
So there's lots of ways that we can learn from each other, that we can adopt things that other jurisdictions are doing at a policy level, we've got to fund it.
This doesn't happen for free. The development of it is integral. If we want to change the system and prevent the children in the system today from being the adults in the system tomorrow. And we want to break that pipeline. We have to really front load services for families. And if we do it and we do it right and provide lasting and long term support to families, then I think that we really start seeing that dial change.
Jurisdictions who have adopted those have had positive outcomes. They've been doing what Oklahoma is seeking to do for almost 20 years now in some jurisdictions and there are other systems. Their criminal, adult criminal system 20 years later is much better.
The general population's well being status is increased, their education levels are increased.
Adverse childhood experiences are real and we need to talk about that more openly and for people even outside of the child welfare system to understand the long lasting impact they have and how harmful family outcomes look. When you have those adverse childhood experiences by every person in the family, child and parent and grandparent typically build that resiliency and instill that hope.
[00:38:25] Speaker B: Well, and thank you for that.
Excellent models.
Excuse me, we'll be right back. Up next, Rebecca shares how families can move from surviving to thriving and what real recovery looks like after a legal battle.
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We're closing today's episode with Rebecca Kirscher, CEO of cflo, discussing how families can go beyond surviving the legal process to actually thriving afterwards. Because healing doesn't end when the case does. That's often where the real work begins.
So, Rebecca, you know, many families struggle to rebuild stability after all of the legal interventions. And also when, let's just say these services have concluded, how can families move from simply getting through a legal case to planning for that healthy, stable future with their children?
[00:40:09] Speaker A: So surviving a legal case is a lot about endurance. You have to show up, you have to comply with orders, you have to meet deadlines, and then you have all sorts of individuals in your life. The reality is that you're checking in with workers, with your attorney, with your service providers, and then you go through a period of trial reunification where you're still doing all of those things, but your children are back in your home.
And then one day everything just stops.
You've reunified with your family and there's nobody checking in on you. You're not getting formal services anymore.
And so learning how to thrive in that system is about integrating. It's about weaving the lessons and the growth and the accountability from the process back into Your daily life and families are distrustful of engaging in services long term.
You know, we always want to move families back towards that central core, back to that stability, back to that intact family unit.
They've got to restore routines, they've got to reconnect with their children. Their many children have been out of the home for, for uptime, sometimes two, two or three years and re establishing trust where fear has lived for a long time.
And the first step is encouraging parents to reflect what's worked, what's broke, what feels fragile.
Families who pause and can assess those questions look at their their own internal capacity.
They can start reacting to the stop reacting to the system and start creating their own structure again.
So healing after court really isn't about doing things perfectly. It's about becoming more consistent in your behaviors, rebuilding your reliability and making sure that parents and caregivers keep showing up, they keep communicating, they keep taking ownership and the entire household at that point can kind of exhale.
And the shift starts going from surviving to thriving.
It also means that we as a community have to continue to support those families. And here at OLFC we were fortunate enough to start a program that is designed to support families as they move towards case closure.
So whether the family is in trial reunification or a pre adoptive placement, we start engaging families in recent in enrichment activities for children. And those activities monthly provide learning opportunities for children.
But we like to sprinkle in a little bit of behavior modification and learning healthy goals and healthy habits. And we operate informally as a resource fair for parents. We can assess what those families needs look like without clipboards, just with conversation and help provide supports when we know they need them.
We had a family recently who had a house fire and most of their needs had been fulfilled by the community.
They indicated that they still needed a washer and dryer and so we were able to take care of that for them.
They've expressed how much that's going to help their life. And both of the parents are in continuing education.
And so we're excited to partner with our community partners. That one's funded through Oklahoma City Community Foundation.
So community leaders really stepping up to the plate, supporting families long term and making sure opportunities exist for families long term.
We help make sure that, you know, they have the emotional support that they need and that they have some really good examples of what community looks like in a supportive community. And so this is one of our newest and most favorite programs to have. And it's the, it's a happy ending at the end of the case to support Families as they transition and make sure they continue to have access to resources long term.
[00:44:25] Speaker B: See, and that actually I'm very impressed by because it's so true. It's once the reunification is once all of these programs are out, I mean literally, it's like, okay, congratulations, we're done. And it's like we close our files and the course closer files, but then the parents and the children are like, now what?
And I love that you're, you had that con, you know, you had something to allow them to have that stability.
So what would you tell families who are out of the immediate crisis but asking what do we do now?
[00:44:59] Speaker A: Well, what do you do now? Reach out to your legislators, reach out to nonprofit.
If you know of funders in your communities or you are the CEO of a company, look at what giving looks like. And if you already have those systems in place, look at the goals of your giving programs. If you have a corporate giving program, make sure that you're aligning with nonprofits that are truly doing the work and making sure families are supported long term.
Crisis intervention is incredibly important, but it doesn't cure the problem and the families are going to risk system reentry and recidivism both within the current family structure and long term. So those children who haven't a good example of what a healthy community looks like, who reenter the system as adults. And it really takes a community and a very supportive community to set the example, lead by example and make sure that families have what they need. If they've done the work to make those big changes, we really need to support them along the way.
[00:46:17] Speaker B: And I agree, it's, I've always said that it takes not only government agencies to provide, you know, resources or services, but also the nonprofit as well as for profit together because there's just for the funding alone. But it's even more so is to provide that because so often corporations don't realize that one of their employees may be undergoing these stresses. And just that once this case is closed, there's full reunification, that there's still a need there to provide support and, and to continue that empowerment.
So I love that. And so Rebecca, knowing how nonprofit agencies are, I mean you have provided such an incredibly eye opening and actually a great model for other states to take a look at how to better serve children and families.
Where can people learn more about Oklahoma Lawyers for families and Children and get involved in supporting your work?
[00:47:23] Speaker A: Well, first and foremost you can go to our website, www.olfc.org that has ways to get a hold of us. ImpactLFC.org will certainly get you routed to whoever, whoever you need to speak with based on your needs. So if you are somebody who wants to learn more about what we're doing and the programs and how we've found funding for, we're always happy to have those conversations with other partner agencies either in this state or in other states.
We, we believe in sharing information.
This shouldn't be an adversarial environment. We all need to support and promote the other non profits around us that are doing that good work and supporting families. If you are interested in donating, our website certainly gets you there and phone call will as well. I'm a private practicing attorney at heart and so we'll, we'll figure out how to figure, we'll figure out how to, to take your, your donation if that's something that you would like to do and if you want to volunteer your time and become involved even board service if you like planning parties, if you enjoy being on social media. Nonprofits have a host of needs. We are a business.
We frankly just have a different tax structure.
We, we don't have an owner. We are owned by the public. But it's so important to understand that every nonprofit out there right now is struggling. There's uncertainty and funding and how can we help?
[00:49:05] Speaker B: Rebecca, thank you for showing us how justice can both compassion and transformative and how families with the right advocacy can truly rebuild their lives to our viewers. Remember, behind every case file is a story, a child, a family and a future worth fighting for. Let's make justice not just a system, but a source of healing. And it is so gratifying to know that there are non profit agencies such as OLCF that are there to assist the families. I'm Alina Gonzalez Dacre and this has been another episode of we the People where real stories meet, real solutions for change. I'm wishing you all a good night.
